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Dog / Cat Diary

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Dog / Cat Diary Empty Dog / Cat Diary

Post by Warley Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:19 am

Drab has already seen this but it is just too funny and so close to the truth not to share it. Anyone who has had both a cat and a dog will relate to this Im sure.....

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary. ..

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now................
Warley
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Post by Guest Mon Sep 29, 2008 7:45 am

I noticed you censored it!! Laughing


Last edited by Drab on Tue Sep 30, 2008 5:08 am; edited 1 time in total

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Post by Sean Benson Mon Sep 29, 2008 2:42 pm

CENSORED you muppett!!! Wink
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Post by Guest Tue Sep 30, 2008 5:09 am

That's what i put Muppet! Rolling Eyes

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Post by Sean Benson Wed Oct 01, 2008 3:43 am

the marvels of modern technology. to the untrained eye i looks like you had it right all along!
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